


look at where we are, look at where we started

by borrowthemoonlight



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017), The Worst Witch - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Hicsqueak, Young hicsqueak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-27 09:35:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14422578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borrowthemoonlight/pseuds/borrowthemoonlight
Summary: (or six times hecate hardbroom did something very un-hecate hardbroom)





	1. Part 1

It’s late one December evening. Very late, in fact, and a twelve year old Hecate Hardbroom should have been in bed and asleep hours ago. 

Her hair is down around her waist and she’s clutching her dressing gown close to her chest as she tiptoes down along the dark corridors, trying her very hardest not to make a sound. She hates to admit it to herself, but she hasn’t yet perfected the silent footstep spell and has not attempted it just in case she somehow reverses it and wakes the entire school with a single step. 

She approaches the staircase that leads up the tallest tower in the east wing, and as she’s just barely touched a toe onto the first step, she’s startled by a quick gasp that makes her jump back a bit and her eyes instantly dart up.

“Hecate, isn’t it?” Comes an excited, but soft voice.

And to Hecate’s utter surprise, stood right before her is Pippa Pentangle.

“Are you up to see the Geminids too?” She asks, eyes wide and beaming.

“You’re here to watch the shower?” Hecate questions, aware that she possibly looks borderline offensively confused.

“Absolutely. Are you coming?” And she’s already making her way past Hecate and up the staircase. 

Hecate can’t quite believe it. This is the last thing she would expect from Pippa. She’s possibly the most popular, the most pampered, the most pretty- 

She immediately shakes away her thoughts and hesitantly follows Pippa up the stairs, still shaking her head slightly when they stop at a large window that leads out onto the roof. When Pippa mutters a spell to unlock it Hecate suddenly feels very nervous.

“You’re going out there?” Her voice trembles just a touch.

“Well we won’t get the best view from in here, will we?” She steps out of the window and into the moonlight, and when she steadies herself, she reaches out a hand to Hecate.

Hecate looks down at it like she’s never seen a hand before. She’s certainly never _held_ a hand before. But with the way Pippa is looking at her, she thinks it must be alright. And it is alright. And as soon as she’s balanced, her hand is free again, and as Pippa gets settled, leaning against the wall they’d been stood on the other side of just moments ago, Hecate thinks she possibly misses the warmth of Pippa’s skin. But of course, she says nothing, and of course she never ever expects to feel it again.

She sits down beside Pippa, who is now casting a warming spell that covers the both of them, leaving a good few inches between their shoulders, and they wait. It’s a comfortable silence for Pippa. But for some reason Hecate’s heart is beating very, very fast and she knows it wouldn’t be if she were sat here alone. It’s quite nice to have company though, she supposes. It’s strange and she doesn’t know what to say or do, but at the moment just sitting together is nice enough, even if she does still feel the constant bubble of anxiety in the pit of her stomach.

When they see the first slit of tiny, white light in the distance Pippa gasps and points. “Did you see it?” There’s a glimmer in her eyes, which Hecate thinks is very sweet and gives her a feeling that tugs around her heart just a little bit. And she wonders if this is what friendship feels like, or rather what finding someone you actually might want to be friends with feels like. Not that Pippa Pentangle would ever want to be her friend. But maybe they can continue to watch the meteor showers together, when they come about throughout the year. Maybe it can just be their secret that no one else would know about. Pippa, she assumes, wouldn’t tell anyone to save herself the embarrassment of being associated with Hecate, and Hecate, well, she has no one else to tell. But she knows she’s just getting ahead of herself. She pushes her thoughts aside. She wouldn’t even know how to begin to put forward the idea to Pippa, not without a thousand stutters and broken sentences and not without her cheeks flushing tremendously. 

Another spec zooms across the sky, and then another and another, each leaving a glowing trail behind them. It’s the heaviest shower either of them have ever seen and Hecate feels herself well up a little at the incredible sight, and, strangely, at being able to share it with someone.

“It’s like magic, isn’t it?” Pippa says, in awe.

“Yes.” Hecate whispers.

And Pippa’s eyes stay fixated on the sky, but now, for reasons she can’t quite explain, Hecate’s eyes are fixated on Pippa. And although she’s not looking up at the cosmos above her, she still agrees that what she is looking at instead rather is like magic. Rather _is_ magic.

They stay out there for nearly two hours and Hecate can’t remember ever having a nicer time with someone. And she still can’t believe it’s _Pippa_. 

When they climb back inside Hecate starts to panic a little. And the fact that she has no idea why makes her panic even more. Then Pippa is looking at her and she realises that she doesn’t want them to part. She’s tired and can’t really form full sentences because of it, but still, being with Pippa has been so different. She’s never felt so much anxiety and calm all at once. She’s never had this before and needs for it to last forever. Pippa is still looking at her.

“Would it be alright if I came to find you tomorrow? During break time, maybe?” 

“What for?” Hecate asks, wondering what Pippa might possibly want to say that she can’t just say right now, while they’re both here.

“Oh. Well. I don’t know. Just to talk, if you’d like.”

_Oh._ Hecate thinks. And for the first time tonight, Pippa sounds nervous. And for the hundredth time tonight, Hecate can’t believe it.

“Alright.” She allows herself to smile. 

They tiptoe back down the corridors together, until they reach the hallway that leads to Pippa’s room and they whisper their goodnights. 

When Hecate reaches her own room, she opens the door just slightly and slides through the smallest gap she can manage. Her door often likes to creek on special occasions when it’s opened wide enough. She climbs into bed and feels her heart beating, feels it pumping warmth around her entire body. Pippa Pentangle wants to see her tomorrow. Just to talk. The thought also makes her feel just a little bit sick, but she tries to ignore that as best she can. Tries to remember how mesmerised Pippa had looked as she gazed up at the stars earlier. How she looked like magic. Magic in human form. Hecate lightly brushes her thumb over her lips, smiling so brightly, so purely that she even shocks herself. Tells herself how ridiculous she’s being. But that only makes her smile more. 

When Pippa’s head hits her pillow that night her heart is still fluttering inside of her. It’s only taken her two years, but she’s finally made real, upheld contact with Hecate Hardbroom. She’d tried to before, she really had. On many occasions. In the potions lab when Pippa would ask her a question about a certain ingredient, a question she full well knew the answer to. And Hecate would answer her, would even look at her sometimes, but once she’d finished speaking she would always duck her head straight back down to her own work. It seemed impossible to make a friend out of her and Pippa had almost accepted that she just wasn’t good enough. For Hecate is so admirable, so brilliant, so beautiful. _So beautiful_ , Pippa thinks. Her soft dark eyes and her perfect pointy nose and her hair, _her hair_ , which Pippa had the honour of seeing in all its thick, dark mass, resting over her shoulders, down her back and all the way to her waist. The way it framed her face and softened her features slightly, or maybe that was just from tiredness. Either way, it was enough to make Pippa totally breathless every time she glanced over at Hecate that night. And thinking about her just now makes her stomach flip. It flips again when she remembers she will have her first proper conversation with Hecate tomorrow. Her heart bursts at the thought and she finally allows herself to settle further into her mattress and into a sweet and sound sleep.


	2. Part 2

“She’s unbelievable.” Hecate growls. “She knows Georgina Greenwick is a menace. In what world does she think I would ever get such a simple potion wrong? I wouldn’t. When have I ever gotten a potion wrong in the four years that I’ve been here?”

Pippa rolls her eyes and glances over at Hecate. “Listen, it’s fine. Once we’ve got all the ingredients on this list we can forget about it.” She says, in her usual free spirited tone.

They were kneeling before a large patch of soil in the gardens, dozens and dozens of trees and plants and herbs surrounding them. Hecate had been given detention after Georgina Greenwick spiked her potion with one single beetle’s tongue, turning her sight magnifying potion into a quick tongue potion. Hecate did try to explain to her potions mistress what had happened, but the effects of the sample she’d taken were almost immediate and she was talking far too quickly for anyone to make out a word she was saying. By the time the spell wore off she’d already been banished to the gardens. Pippa had no reason to be there, other than to be a helping hand.

“You really don’t have to do this, you know. It’s lunch time, you should go and eat.” Hecate murmurs, not making eye contact.

“I know I don’t have to be, but- With the both of us here, we’ll probably collect everything just in time to still grab some apple crumble.” Pippa raises an eyebrow, nudging into Hecate’s shoulder. Hecate detests apple crumble. 

Looking up at Pippa, her scrunched up face of playful disgust softens, as she admires the way the sun seems to bounce off Pippa’s hair, making it glow in the golden daylight. They continue gathering the things they need, but Hecate finds it quite hard to concentrate. Maybe if Pippa wasn’t helping she’d actually get this done faster. But it seems impossible when Pippa’s shoulder keeps brushing against her own, almost unnecessarily, really. Pippa has so much space to shuffle into and could easily create a gap between them, but she doesn’t. And Hecate often kicks herself over thinking such thoughts, because she should be used to this by now. Pippa likes to be close. Has always liked to be close. And Hecate isn’t one for intimacy, but with Pippa it’s okay. Pippa doesn’t push, or ask for too much. All she needs is to brush a hand over Hecate’s arm every now and then. Or she likes to make sure that their legs are just barely touching on the bed when they have secret sleepovers in one of their rooms- usually Pippa’s- Hecate is much more advanced when it comes to transference spells, so if they were to get caught Hecate would be back in her own room, alone, within an instant.

Without realising it, for a second Hecate begins to lean into Pippa’s touch. Her daydreaming and the soft feeling of Pippa, even over the fabric of her shirt, getting the better of her. Pippa doesn’t look up but can’t stop smiling. That is until Hecate snaps out of it, feeling embarrassed she jolts away a little and goes to reach out for a particularly large thistle. In her slight panic, she doesn’t exactly watch where she’s placing her hand and moments later she lets out a sharp gasp of pain.

Hecate looks down at the blood running from her finger, in slight shock at what she’s just done. Her brow furrows and she lifts a trembling hand, ready to heal the cut, the pain making it a little harder to even remember the spell.

“It’s alright.” Pippa says, placing a hand on Hecate’s trembling one, before gently taking her wrist and bringing her wounded hand closer to her. Steadily, she places her hand onto the cut and when she lifts it off again, Hecate is good as new.

“All better, see?” She says, cheerfully, bringing Hecate’s finger up to her lips and giving it a quick kiss that sends magic surging up the whole length of Hecate’s arm, making her muscles stiffen. She can still feel Pippa’s breath across her fingers when Pippa looks back up at her, smiling with bright eyes. And Hecate feels something unbearable in her chest. Something that makes her lean closer to Pippa. 

Pippa’s taken aback slightly at just how close she’s actually getting. It’s not like Hecate, to engage in intimate moments, she usually just allows them to happen- with Pippa, of course. Only with Pippa. And now suddenly, their faces are less than inches apart from each other and Pippa daren’t move, daren’t do anything to ruin this unusual moment that has her heart beating double time.

They look at each other for a short time, Pippa’s eyes dancing over Hecate’s face and she nods, so, so subtly that Hecate wouldn’t have noticed if their noses weren’t almost touching. Hecate, looking only slightly unsure, kisses Pippa’s lips. Quickly, and confusedly and her eyes stay open the whole time.

Pippa’s heart is about to fly right out of her mouth, but she tries to stay neutral. Gives a hint of a smile, does nothing that could tell Hecate she didn’t like what’s just happened, but also doesn’t do anything that might overwhelm her either.

Hecate swallows. “I- s-sorry. I- er- should get these ingredients into the potions lab.” Her eyes shift and she promptly stands. Pippa hands her the leaves and herbs she’s gathered and she smiles. Beams actually. Hecate’s chest is still thumping and she tries not to let her eyes linger on Pippa’s lips, on Pippa’s smile, tries not to smile herself, tries not to feel the feeling in her stomach that makes her want to take back what she’s just done, but at the same time makes her want to do it again and again and again.

She doesn’t see Pippa for the rest of the day. 

The next morning, they sit side by side in their chanting lesson, never once mentioning what happened.


	3. Part 3

It’s months later. Hecate and Pippa are well into their fifth year at school now and still neither have mentioned the kiss. But neither have forgotten it either. And they don’t try to pretend they have forgotten. It really was the start of something.

Sometimes, when they are alone, Hecate will hold Pippa’s hand. 

The first time was an accident. One night, early on in summer when they’d snuck out of Pippa’s house during a sleepover to watch the Delta Aquarids meteor shower. It was around 2am, they found a particularly comfy looking patch of grass in the back garden and lay next to each other, pointing up at the stars, watching tiny soaring specs shine through the sky, leaving trails of dust in their paths. It was spectacular, and somehow, in the thrill of it all, Hecate’s hand found Pippa’s and held onto it. Pippa said nothing, not quite knowing how to react without startling or embarrassing Hecate. It was only when Pippa stroked her thumb over Hecate’s hand, about one whole minute later, Hecate realised what she’d done and immediately pulled away. Pippa turned to look at her, but Hecate faced the other way. Shame rising in her stomach and showing on her face.

“Hecate?” Pippa asked, soft as she could. And slowly, Hecate eventually turned to face her. “Would you like to hold my hand?” 

Hecate held her gaze for a while, a look of worry on her face, an unsure question in her eyes. So Pippa added, “I would like it you did, but it’s very much okay if you don’t want to.” Hecate continued to look at her, finding comfort in her eyes and then Pippa held out her hand and to her absolute wonderment, Hecate took it in her own once more.

And now, it’s almost a regular thing. When they sit on each other’s beds and just talk for a while and when they sneak off to the more private areas in the gardens on warmer evenings (but still, they always cast a spell that lets them know if anyone is coming their way, just in case). Pippa thinks it would be more regular if it weren’t for Hecate’s own insecurities telling her Pippa might not want to hold her hand. 

But luckily, tonight is one of those nights. One of the better nights, when Hecate does decide to hold Pippa’s hand. 

“I like it when we do this.” Pippa says, shifting their clasped hands slightly into the air.

Something pangs inside of Hecate at Pippa’s words and she can’t stop her cheeks from turning pink. She looks down at their entwined fingers and smiles. “I like it too.”

“I like it when you smile.” Hecate isn’t quite sure what to say to that, but Pippa has more to say. Feels like muddled words that she’s been trying to form in her head for so long now are finally about to burst free, whether she wants them to or not. And still, she doesn’t want to push Hecate, or frighten her, but she also just can’t put it off anymore. Because although holding hands is enough, if that’s all Hecate wants to do, she needs her to know that she does want more than this. And she thinks that maybe Hecate wants more this this too, that maybe she just needs a little push.

“I…” She trails off and suddenly her heart is in her throat. “I liked it when you kissed me.”

Hecate’s face flushes much deeper and she looks down again. She doesn’t pull her hand away though and that, Pippa thinks, is a good sign. She waits for Hecate to say something. She waits a while. 

Until finally. “I liked it too.”

Pippa’s heart beams, but she tries her hardest not to react too strongly. She looks down at their hands. Remembers how she’d kissed Hecate’s finger that day, after she’d cut it. It was silly and at the time she didn’t really think anything of it, it didn’t mean _that much_. Until Hecate started to lean towards her in a way she never had before. Then it meant everything. 

“You know,” She begins slowly, “You can kiss me again, if you’d like.”

Hecate becomes stiff and her mouth suddenly becomes dry and she does want to kiss Pippa. She really, _really_ wants to kiss Pippa. She’s never actually stopped wanting to kiss her, since even before that time in the gardens.

Pippa lets out a shy laugh, seeing how uneasy Hecate appears to be. “Forget I said that, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you to feel uncomfortable.”

Hecate shakes her head, trying to bring to the moisture back to her mouth. “No. It- It’s just I… I- Would you- Hmm.” She squeezes Pippa’s hand a bit, hoping she’ll soon find the right words for once. And Pippa squeezes back. A squeeze of encouragement, like she’s willing to give Hecate all the time in the world. Which she is.

The more Hecate thinks about it, the more her heart leaps further out of her chest. But she has to say it, because Pippa is here and Pippa liked kissing Hecate and now that she has admitted it, Hecate feels like she just might die on the spot if she doesn’t feel the soft brush of Pippa’s lips again soon. 

“Maybe, do you think- you might. Um. I mean, will you. Kiss me. Please.”

Pippa is quite in disbelief at her words and doesn’t even react at first, which, again, makes Hecate feel like she might die on the spot. But then Pippa’s lips curve into a smile and she leans across to meet Hecate’s eyes, inches away from her face. When she begins to lean even further it only takes a second before their lips touch. And another second before they part once more. And the two are still close, still looking at each other. Hecate hesitantly raises her hand and brushes a strand of Pippa’s hair off her face and Pippa feels on top of the whole world. Couldn’t be more over the moon that Hecate has finally said the things, more or less, that Pippa has been craving to hear for months, or now that she thinks about it, years. And then- 

“Can you do that again, please?” Somehow, the words completely take her breath away and Pippa can only nod before she kisses her again. For longer this time. And when they pull apart again, Hecate places a gentle hand on the back of Pippa’s neck and almost immediately pulls her back in. 

Suddenly she stops and whispers against Pippa’s lips, “Is this okay?” 

Pippa nods and brushes her nose up against Hecate’s. “More than. Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She doesn’t know if she’s shaking her head or nodding it but either way, she means yes. Hecate is very okay. 

And so they continue to kiss and entwine fingers and giggle a little bit and run hands through now unconfined hair, until eventually they’re just cuddling. And they each get lost in their own thoughts. About tonight, about what this means, about labels and words like “relationship” and “girlfriend” and although neither really know what to think, they smile and they are happy.

And they continue to hold each other. And then they fall asleep, warm and peaceful and undisturbed until the morning.


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to clarify that in this part Hecate and Pippa are very close to finishing school and have both turned 18.  
> Also can we appreciate how far Hecate has come in this chapter, I love my tiny gay angel so much.

As usual, Hecate arrives to her first class of the day considerably early. It’s just her routine. She likes to sit and enjoy the silence as she goes over her notes from her previous lesson. She’s just about to turn the first withered page of her advanced potions book when she hears the door opening.

“I thought I might find you here.” Pippa says, raising an eyebrow, as she steps into the almost empty potions classroom. 

“Of course you would find me here.” Hecate murmurs, not looking up from her book. It’s their final year at school and exams are getting closer and closer, which means Hecate is inevitably spending more time than ever on her studies.

Pippa begins to make her way across the room. “I just came to tell you about my dream.” She says, inching closer to Hecate’s desk.

“Oh?” Hecate tries to sound enthusiastic, but she really must concentrate.

“You and I were both there.” She begins, cheerfully. “We were in my bed.” She waits for a hint of a reaction from Hecate. Hecate says nothing. “I had you in my arms and we were talking nonsense, I can’t remember what we said. But I was kissing you anywhere that I could, and then you looked at me, very suddenly.” She pauses, delighted to see that Hecate is finally, finally looking at her.

“And then you began kissing your way down my stomach, and I felt every single one of them. I don’t know how I didn’t wake up straight away, it was so real.”

“Really?” Hecate tilted her head. She did try to ignore the heat rising in her stomach, really she did.

“Yes. And you continued to move downwards and I still felt every bit of it and then- and then, well. I woke up rather flustered. And upset that you weren’t in my arms. And so very frustrated.” Pippa says, eyes fixed on the witch before her.

Hecate, eyes narrowing on Pippa just slightly, ponders for a moment.

“Hiccup?”

Hecate doesn’t respond for a few seconds. “I’m just working something out.”

“Oh, okay.” Pippa smiles and looks at Hecate so knowingly, so endearingly.

Hecate looks up at her once more, perks her lips a little and then Pippa says, “So, can you fit me in?”

Hecate transfers right in front of her. “It will mean some extra lunchtime studying, but I believe it is doable.”

“You believe _I’m_ doable?” Pippa asks, eyebrows perking, nose almost brushing Hecate’s, and Hecate has to catch her breath before she can transfer them to Pippa’s room.

They’re kissing before their feet even steady on the ground and Hecate gently walks Pippa back towards the bed, where she sits and looks up at Hecate, a burning desire in her eyes.

Hecate kisses her once more before kneeling between her thighs. “Remind me of your dream?” 

Pippa grins. “You kissed me. All the way down here.” She says, tracing her fingers down over her chest and stomach.

Hecate leans up and begins kissing Pippa’s neck, whilst her fingers get to work unbuttoning her shirt.

And then she’s brushing the fabric over Pippa’s shoulders, kissing her chest, kissing down her sternum, kissing the expanse of her stomach. And Pippa’s breathing becomes much heavier.

She casts a spell to release Hecate’s hair from its tight confines, burying her hands in it as soon as she can. And when Hecate finally runs her hands up Pippa’s thighs and under her skirt, Pippa gasps. 

“Then what did I do?” 

“Well,” She begins, shakily, “Somehow, by the time you’d gotten down here, I was already bare.” Pippa’s clothes vanish within half a second. “And then you kissed me again.” She slowly moves her hand down past the centre of her hips. “Right here.” 

A smile tugs on Hecate’s lips and she reaches her arms under Pippa’s knees, wrapping around them and swiftly pulling her right to the edge of the bed, making Pippa gasp again. 

“And then you woke up?” Hecate asks, placing a kiss on her inner thigh. 

“Yes.” Pippa breathes.

“But you wanted it to continue? The dream?”

“Yes.” She hisses, as Hecate circles her tongue on the inside of her thigh.

“What did you want?” 

“You. I wanted you.” She gazes at Hecate and swallows. “I want you.” She says, through almost clenched teeth.

Hecate smiles. “You have me.” She sucks kisses further and further up Pippa’s thigh. “I’ve always been yours.” Kiss. “I am yours.” Kiss. “Only ever yours.” Kiss.

“Mine.” She’s gasping before she can finish the word, as Hecate takes her into her mouth.

Her hands tighten in Hecate’s hair and it’s all she can do not to let a moan escape her lips. Not when the rest of their year will be just waking and making their way to breakfast. Especially not when Hecate isn’t ready for the world to know. Not when this is still their brilliant little secret.

Hecate’s tongue flicks over a certain spot that makes Pippa jolt forwards and Hecate’s nails grip onto Pippa’s thighs a little harder, her tongue still fast at work. It’s when Pippa begins to whimper, soft and desperate, that Hecate slides a hand off Pippa’s thigh. Finds Pippa’s hand, which is now gripping the edge of the mattress, takes it into her own and Pippa holds on tight. 

Pippa comes. And she’s quiet, but still, she breathes out Hecate’s name. She still grips onto her hand for some time, until her muscles droop and her other hand runs through Hecate’s hair, brushing it from her face. 

“I love you.” Hecate whispers, placing one last kiss on the inside of Pippa’s thigh, before Pippa guides her onto the bed, pulls her close and whispers I love you over and over against Hecate’s skin.

A few moments pass, before Pippa begins to tug at Hecate’s shirt, untucks it from her creased skirt and slides a hand underneath. Hecate shivers at her touch, but keeps her composure.

“Pippa Pentangle, have you forgotten that we have a potions class to attend this morning?” Hecate asks, sternly.

“No. But I was so hoping you might’ve.” Hecate kisses her on the nose, before promptly standing and making the clothes that are heaped in a pile on the floor reappear on Pippa’s body.

Pippa sulks, but Hecate merely keeps a straight face and says, “We shall resume this later.”

And she keeps her word.


	5. Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: physical abuse

Hecate has hardly slept and feels like she’s never been more nervous in her entire life. But she doesn’t mind much because at least now it’s morning. In just a few hours, she will be stood with Pippa as the crowd cheers. Their broomstick display will be over and they will have done a brilliant job and then Hecate is going to hold Pippa’s hand. And she is not going to care that so many people will see. She is going to hold Pippa’s hand and be proud. Of their display, of her relationship and of herself. And she will not care what anyone thinks- except for Pippa. But she already knows Pippa will be elated. Pippa will smile and laugh and squeeze her hand so tight. Pippa will make her feel safe no matter what.

She walks over to her dresser, hair down, still in her pyjamas. And for once she studies herself, properly. Spends a while just looking. Carefully watching herself as timid fingers run through her hair. For some reason, today she doesn’t mind the look of her sharp features. She smiles, and suddenly, she feels quite pretty. Her nose doesn’t look pointy and sinister today. It looks pointy and… Pretty. She thinks maybe she finally sees a part of herself that Pippa sees. Today, she isn’t afraid to see what Pippa sees. 

Her fingers carefully trail out of her hair. She knows she has to put it up now. Not only because of the health and safety regulations for the display, but because it’s what she does every day. And although today is different and although today she likes her hair down, she knows she can’t handle for everyone to see something so out of character, not when she’s already filled to the brim with anxiety. But anxiety or not, today she will still do something out of character. She will hold Pippa’s hand in front of people for the very first time. 

Simply, very precisely, she swishes her hand. Sees her perfect magic at work as her hair tangles and twirls until it is a neat bun sat regally on top of her head. She smiles. Today things will change, once she proves that she is unafraid. Once Pippa sees that she is unafraid.

Her display robes hang smart on the door of her wardrobe before her. She traces her fingers down them, feeling the unusual fabric. Then she feels her nerves rise up to her chest and she thinks of Pippa and wonders if she feels nervous too. About the display. She’ll find out soon enough anyway, she’s going to Pippa’s room in a few minutes so they can walk to breakfast together and then get in some last minute practice. 

Another spell and she’s standing proudly in her new robes. She smooths them down over her body and is just about to turn to leave when her door bursts open, making her jump. It’s not long before she feels something dark seep around her in the atmosphere, filling her room completely. She hears footsteps.

Her eyes widen, every muscle in her body tenses, she swallows and then says through clenched teeth, “Dad.”

“We’re leaving.” The tall, stern faced wizard says. And Hecate can see the rage in him. Can see the flames in his eyes. And suddenly she can’t move. 

When Hecate does nothing, a suitcase flies across the floor from underneath her bed. The lid flings open and makes a terrible bang on her floor that makes her flinch. “I said we’re leaving. Pack your things.”

Hecate is shaking now and she has to say something, is dying to say something. But the knot in her throat seems to be getting tighter and she can’t swallow it down.

“Stupid girl.” He says and Hecate can’t understand, has never been able to understand, why such anger fills his voice. He’s making her things pack themselves into the case now and Hecate feels totally helpless at how things are so suddenly escalating. “Get out.” And now he’s looking at her, staring her down, forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do just with his tone of voice, again. Like he has done so, so many times before.

Hecate’s eyes scan the room. Looking for something- anything- but there is nothing. There is nothing she can do to escape this. She gulps, her father’s eyes still piercing through her.

“No.” She lets out, finally. And even just saying the word has her gasping for breath.

The fire in his eyes seems to triple and Hecate feels the terror pulse through her body. “Do you dare to repeat yourself, Hecate?”

She’s biting down on her lip to stop from crying, so hard she thinks she might be bleeding. “No.” She shakes her head, frantic. “No. I-I’m not going.” And now she is crying, but still she says no again and again. She pleads and pleads no, almost in time with her thumping heartbeat.

Hecate’s father lets out a sigh and turns, as if to leave. He pauses in the doorway. But Hecate knows she hasn’t won yet. Knows he could never just leave her be because it’s what she wants. 

A searing pain shoots up her arm and her fingers curl in on themselves at the feeling. It’s like a line of fire is running up her wrist to her elbow and suddenly she’s on the floor. Trying to cry out, but it’s so much that nothing can escape her mouth. Her arm feels completely devoured by flames and although her other hand is scratching so desperately at the floorboards beneath her, her father does nothing. She’s losing consciousness and the pain soon becomes blinding. She thinks maybe she’s in a nightmare. That’s why her father is not saving her, why he’s nothing soothing her and telling her that everything will be alright. And then she’s focusing on a new pain, no, not a new pain, a different pain. A pain that reminds her that the last time she was in her father’s arms was well over ten years ago, maybe over fifteen years ago. Reminds her that the last time his words were a sound of reassurance and comfort was when she barely understood words at all. Her arm seems to be cooling slightly and then she starts to sob. A puddle of black robes and black hair falling loose from her bun on the floor. 

Her father turns back to her, she hears his feet shuffle on the floor, but she doesn’t look up. She stays low, screaming inside her head for him to leave. But he won’t. Not when her other arm is perfectly fine and unmarked. “Get out.” He says once more. Softer this time, but not any less threatening. Not any less disgustingly. Still so full of anger.

Hecate leaves with him. And he makes sure she doesn’t get the chance to say goodbye to Pippa, or to say anything at all to Pippa. Not today or tomorrow or ever.

Time passes but the pain never leaves. Only numbs slightly.


	6. Part 6

It’s raining one late afternoon at Pentangle’s Academy and Pippa is sat at her desk getting on with some marking. Truth be told, she’s a little behind on everything. But she can’t help it when there’s so much on her mind lately. She listens to the drum of the rain drops against the large windows in her study, unable to concentrate. So she allows herself a break, not that she thinks she deserves one, brings her eyes up from the papers on her desk and smiles fondly.

“Do I amuse you?” Asks a stern-faced Hecate Hardbroom, whose eyes have not risen from the pages of her book. 

“Oh, all the time.” She says, eyes fixed on the witch sat across the room on her very pink sofa. Hecate and pink look good together, she thinks, and tries not to look quite as happy as she feels.

Hecate glances her eyes at Pippa for a split second and tries not to let her lips curl. “You’re doing it again.”

“I don’t care.” Pippa says, referring to the fact that she is quite literally glowing. The skin of her face shimmering with a touch of soft golden light. 

“If you keep allowing it to happen, you know it will only make it harder to supress around others.” 

“I don’t care.” She says more firmly. Rising from her seat, making her way towards the sofa. And she really doesn’t. Let people see her like this. Let everyone see how Hecate makes her feel. Like a light that will never go out. Like a fire so unwilling to die down.

And it does still hurt sometimes, to look at Hecate and think of all she had to go through, all alone, in such darkness. To think of what he did to her, just because he couldn’t stand the thought of Hecate being in love with a witch. Just because he couldn’t stand the mere idea that Hecate might actually be happy. And it hurts to remember what she herself had to go through as a result. But the time did pass and their feelings for each other did not change and now Pippa knows everything. Pippa knows why. Pippa has seen and kissed and placed a gentle, loving hand over each of Hecate’s scars.

“Stop being so magnificent and I’ll consider not lighting up every time I see you.” She sits next to Hecate, makes her book float right out of her hands and onto the table in front of them (she’s left a sprinkle of magic on the exact word Hecate was up to) and looks at her again. Is so happy to be looking at her. So Hecate indulges her. Indulges herself.

“You are preposterous, Pippa Pentangle. And you are far brighter than the sun. Not just because of your reluctance to control your current state. I assure you, you outshine it every single day.”

“And yet somehow, you are the light of my life.” She replies, tries not to giggle at her own silly words. But she means them. And Hecate looks down for a second, taking one of Pippa’s hands, entwining their fingers.

“But I am so dissimilar to the sun.” Hecate says, shaking her head, finally allowing her concealed smile to show, a small glint in her eye.

“You’re my star.” Pippa takes Hecate’s other hand. “You are my guidance, my inspiration and you positively gleam with beauty. You make me feel safe.” She thinks back to all the nights they’d spent together, gazing up at the stars. On the first night they’d met- properly anyway. How they’d made it their little secret. How, a couple of years later, they’d hold hands, because no one could see them out there. How eventually, they’d kiss and hold each other close. And that one night, close to the end of their sixth year, when the stars shone particularly bright, filling them both with emotions they’d never felt before. Emotions that made Pippa turn away from the stars in the sky, turn to Hecate, the only star that really mattered. She remembers every single detail. Brushing a strand of long hair from Hecate’s face, dragging her trembling fingertips all the way down her chest and stomach, stroking a hand over her thigh, making her shudder, breathless. Making her pull Pippa in closer. And closer, and closer until they were both breathing the same air. Until their hands were exploring places they’d explored only briefly before, and never like this before. Until their clothes were the only things stopping them from getting that much closer. Until they did get that much closer. Couldn’t stop themselves and certainly did not want to stop themselves. It was the night Pippa discovered true magic.

Pippa suddenly feels overwhelmed and before she can get out the rest of her words a tear makes its way down her cheek. “You are my home.” 

And she remembers all the time she spent looking up at the stars, alone, during all those years apart. She couldn’t bear it at first. She couldn’t bear to relive all those memories knowing that Hecate wasn’t there by her side. But eventually she began to find comfort in the stars once more. Because no matter how much she wished Hecate was there, for each and every one of those years, no matter how many nights she would look into the night sky, unable to quiet her sobs, she knew that somewhere, Hecate was looking up at the same sky. She knew that even though it wasn’t the same, it was still something they shared together. Still their little secret. No matter how many miles, no matter how many years apart they were.

“Pippa…” Hecate trails off, closing her eyes, as Pippa leans in and kisses her softly. On her lips, down her chin, along her jaw and Hecate beams. She can’t help it and she’s almost relieved Pippa can’t see her properly. Then Pippa’s kissing down her neck and Hecate gasps but she thinks it may’ve come out as a laugh and now she’s flushing a brighter pink than the sofa they sit on. She feels Pippa smiling against her skin and it tickles slightly and Hecate is just so happy. So proud and so, so grateful and just so, so happy.

When Pippa lifts her head, looks into Hecate’s eyes, she grins so wide. Gives Hecate such a look of absolute affection. Hecate lifts her chin slightly, asking Pippa a silent question.

“You’re doing it again.” She answers.

And Hecate is glowing.


End file.
